How to Support Non-Binary & Trans People as an Ally.

 

As part of this year’s Non-Binary Day we are focussing on what it means to be an ally. For more information about Non-Binary Day, click here.

Traditionally, we are used to there being two genders – male and female. However, gender is more like a spectrum – it isn’t set in stone and some people have fluid or fluctuating gender identities. There are a variety of terms that are used when people discuss gender identity, here are some of them:

It’s always up to an individual as to how they describe their gender identity. Some people use multiple terms or shift between different terms to better represent their gender identity. This should always be respected and supported.

What are pronouns?

Pronouns are short words like it, she, he, we, they, us and them that we use to avoid the repetitive of a noun, so for example instead of saying:

  • Betty asked me out to dinner, so I went out with Betty.

 

We would say:

  • Betty asked me out to dinner, so I went out with her. (‘Her’ pronoun in this instance)

 

The challenge comes when commonly applied pronouns – he and she have a gender implied.

For people who are non-binary, they may prefer to use they or them as their pronoun, and we are also starting to other pronouns being used such as xe/xem/xyr, ze/hir/hirs, fae/faer/faers and ey/em/eir – known as neopronouns.

It can feel strange using pronouns in a way that we are not used to, but for the person who is being misgendered it can be hurtful and upsetting.  

 

Sometimes it can all feel a little tricky and we can be scared about saying the wrong thing, the reality is we may get things wrong from time to time, the important thing to remember is that we are all individuals, and all of our experiences are different.

If you are unsure, here are some ways you can approach a conversation:

  • simply stick to using their name, and avoid the use of pronouns altogether.
  • ask them the question directly: “what pronouns do you use?”.
  • offer your pronouns and hope that they too will share theirs.

How you can be an ally?

 

An ally is often defined as someone who is not a member of a marginalised group but wants to support and take action to help others in that group.

 

An ally is very important in working towards equality and helping wider society better understand the experiences of marginalised groups. You could be an ally to different groups such as different racial and ethnic groups, religions, LGBTQ+ identities or disabled people.

An ally takes the time to learn more about trans and non-binary people and their lives and confront assumptions and stereotypes around trans people. Allies work to ensure trans people are treated with respect in and outside of the workplace.

Every non-trans person can be a trans ally and work to ensure trans people are treated with dignity and respect.

 

Here are some ways in which you can be an ally and support non-binary or trans people:

  • use people’s names and pronouns
  • share your pronouns – either in conversation or you can add them to your email signatures or social media accounts
  • try to use more inclusive language – take a look here for more information
  • don’t make assumptions about someone’s gender based on the way they dress – it may not reflect their gender identity
  • call out transphobia - challenge people who make transphobic comments
  • listen and learn - learning the appropriate terminology and language can be daunting. If you make a mistake, apologise and learn from the experience. Honest mistakes – as opposed to intentional attempts to invalidate someone’s identity – don’t make you transphobic

For more information in relation to this, there are a variety of organisations who share resources so take a look:

Click here to go back to the Cultural Calendar homepage.