Paul's making space for short stay

Paul joined Bury Shared Lives as a day support carer and is getting his house ready to offer short stay to people too.

What made you decide to become a Shared Lives carer and what do you get out of it?

My grandparents were foster carers for 34 years; they are my main inspiration for becoming a carer. When a friend of mine started using Shared Lives, his main carers encouraged me to sign up to do day support for him and I've never looked back! Until I joined Shared Lives, I never realised what a difference a few hours of support a week can make to someone’s life. I am very happy to see the results.

It’s so fulfilling when people who have struggled to blend in or to do certain activities are able to do those things with my support. When I help people develop their skills, they gain confidence and no longer feel lonely or misunderstood.

What does day support involve for you?

We might go out and watch films, play games, or go to art galleries and museums. Occasionally people will come back to my house for a meal and sometimes we visit my relatives together. Two of the people I support come at the same time, so I can enable them to develop a friendship with each other too.

Why have you decided to start doing short stay (respite) support?

I'm hoping short stay will give me an idea of what long term support is like, as I'd like to do this in the future too. 

What changes are you making to your life and house to offer short stay support?

I want my house to be welcoming and up to date, to make everyone feel comfortable so I've had the house rewired to make sure it's safe and I'm redecorating. I'd like to change the kitchen eventually too, although this and the redecoration are optional.*

I've also spoken to my manager in my other job about going part time - I'd like to leave to become a full time Shared Lives carer as I feel like my other job gets in the way a bit. Shared Lives is my priority and, even though a number of long-term service users are quite independent, I would like to give then the support they deserve and be around all of the time. I’m also happy to provide day support and short stay to more people I haven't met yet.

How have the Shared Lives team supported you with these changes?

They've given me me a lot of advice, and I know they’d help me with anything if I asked. They answer any questions I have and are great to work with.

How do you think short stay support will be different from what you're doing now?

Well first of all, cooking for people I support isn't something I've really done yet!

I would love to help someone for longer periods of time, rather than just for a few hours in the day once a week. The positive impact can be much more when people are with you for longer and it means they don’t feel lonely again when you drop them off back at home after just a few hours, as your home is their home for the duration of their stay. Short stay is a great way to give people a change of scenery and it means their family or main carers can have a break too.

We might do similar things together that we would during day support, depending on what each person enjoys; we might cook together or go for a walk. If they want to get involved in doing the gardening or the washing up I'll be happy to help them develop those skills - otherwise they can sit back and enjoy the break which they might not get when back at home – the choice will always be theirs. 

What challenges have you had, being a carer?

There are far more positives than negatives with this job.

Some people might not understand what you're saying to them, at least not straight away, but with persistence and using a tone and words they are comfortable with, you get there in the end. It's like any other family, with a combination of challenges and positives: there is always a solution.

With short stay and long term support I know there will be 24/7 responsibility, but I will be supported by my family and by the Shared Lives team.

Do you think Shared Lives is flexible way to work?

Yes, and if you work purely as a Shared Lives carer, it can also mean having more time for your other family and friends, as you will likely be available at home more.

What's the best thing about Shared Lives?

I can’t think of any other role apart from fostering which is more fulfilling; it doesn’t feel like a job at all. When you care about those you are supporting and treating them as part of your family, everything just works out – it’s like caring for any other family member, the only difference is the allowance you get to help support that person and yourself. 

What makes Shared Lives so special for the people we support?

It helps people to feel supported and happy. Shared Lives helps people to feel part of a family; it makes people feel normal and that’s how people should be made to feel. Everyone deserves a family, even if that family isn’t always related by blood.

What would you say to someone who was thinking about becoming a carer with Shared Lives?

Pick up the phone today, and you will not regret it! The assessments take a few months and you’ll be supported all the way through before you make the ultimate decision. The ability to decide is always in your hands; you can decide who you want to support, just as people who use the scheme can decide who will support them. 

*you don't need to own your own house to be a Shared Lives carer. Find out more here. 

Want to know more about Bury Shared Lives? Click here.

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